Disappointment and Confusion
I am going to be super vulnerable today in this post and I am going to talk about something that has been difficult for me in the last few days… I’m sure someone can relate to these feelings, so I felt led to share.
That something is…. disappointment.
Have you ever felt the call to apply for a position, audition for a part, work for a promotion, etc. only to find out that you did not make the cut?
That’s because it has happened to everyone at least once in their life.
I believe that we are all rationally aware that rejection is a part of life, but when it comes time to face the rejection, it stings a lot more than expected. You may know that you’re qualified to do something, or you may feel like the position you are chasing is aiding you in your path for the life God has called you to.
But when you hear that “I’m sorry,” sometimes it comes as a blow.
I have recently gone through this scenario, and let me tell you… I took it hard.
I was sitting in my college math class and math was the last thing on my mind. I was spending the hour thinking about all of the things I probably answered incorrectly in my interview, or thinking about how I was vulnerable and how that was a difficult thing to do, or thinking about how embarrassed I felt. I would like to tell you that I just thought about these things and rationalized them and then went on with my day… but that is not the case.
I left class and I could not stop crying.
It was quite the theatrical performance… and I knew that I was blowing things out of proportion on my end, but there was a sting to it and my heartfelt burdened and confused.
I had to get ready to go to work, so I had to pretend to soak up the tears (I didn’t really want to, but I don’t think people come to a restaurant to be served by someone with tears and a runny nose.) I was the most unfocused employee in the entire world and could not wait to leave so the floodgates could release once again.
On the way home- I had been praying, but I couldn’t pray anything other than the words “You’re never gonna let me down,” which are lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs – King of My Heart- Bethel
(Click this link and please enjoy this song. You will not regret listening to this!)
Through my prayer, I reminded myself that God is a GOOD God, and He does not leave me. He does not want me to be in despair. He wants me to trust that He knows what He is doing!
I know that my God is good and I know that He has a plan so much bigger than I can imagine.
So while the day of disappointment was uncomfortable and mildly upsetting, confusing, and embarrassing… I am able to rest on the fact that GOD PROVIDES AND IS AWESOME!
God is not setting me up for failure or to have this feeling of confusion. He is not a God of confusion. He is a God of order and peace.
1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”
I wanted to share this with whoever may be reading this, because:
1.) I needed to remind myself
2.) I felt called to tell someone who needs to hear it
God is good, everyone.
In life, we lose some… but as long as we are following God and we are in His Word and in communication with me, we are ultimately WINNING!
I hope someone can use this as a boost of encouragement!